Catharsis is a good thing to experience now and then

So, I really don't know what form this blog entry is going to take, but it will be long. I could rant Galvan-style about everything that's messed up in the world, I could list categorically everything that I've seen or heard about that has hurt my heart in some way today, I could wax poetic about justice and what God's been doing to my heart recently. I could just write the news. I don't know what would be most cathartic at the moment so I'll just keep writing.

Well, this term I've grown a lot spiritually, and I think the growing pains are making me extraordinarily angsty, but my life has also been mixed with peace and joy lately too. I think God has really given me a heart for helping the hurting, especially children, but the more I pray for them, the more I can feel their pain, and it hurts. Like tonight when we were talking about what we can do to help end sex trafficking, which is a horrible practice that affects more than a million people, especially women and children, and especially the poor and uneducated.

I think (and hope) that my safe white American life has been forever changed by the things I have been learning about. Somebody at fall conference this year said something like "We can't all just drop out of school and fly to Thailand to combat the sex trade going on there." And I think Houston said it best: "Why not?" Don't get me wrong, I really do feel that God put me on this campus for a reason, but I don't think He plans to let me stay inside myself, at all.

I also feel like God is pulling me to go to Africa to serve this mission at the end of next summer. I haven't applied yet, and I don't know how to pay for it, and I know that I could just go with NCM when they go to Africa in 2009, but as time goes on, I really think that God is preparing me to go out into the missions field on a full-time basis, not just as a normal American church-goer who takes vacation short term missions every couple of years.

The more I think about it, the more crazy it seems. Just months ago, until this summer really, I never acknowledged that I could be called to do that. I always though I was 'safe' from missions, and that God couldn't have gifted me the way he did and wanted me to leave everything I've grown up in. But now I really can't wait to see how God's going to use me, and where, and its amazing 'cause I'm part of something so much bigger than I could ever be if I was running my own life.

So, all that is a really long, personal, emotional way of saying that my priorities have changed, but I wanted to say it publicly.

Y'know what else is great? I started this blog thinking about every little thing thats gone wrong today and I've ended up talking about how cool God is. That's neato. And cool.

Something else that's neato is the weekend coming up. Tomorrow night is the "Parent's Night Out" event at Harvest Community Church at which we, the amazing college students, will be taking care of the dear little kidlets as a fundraiser for NCM's missions trips. Also, tomorrow I get to register for Winter Term classes, and after I do all that, I will go to InterVarsity girl's night over in Walton.

Saturday is running, and then later is the cool dance performance that I'm going to as part of an assignment for Ballet class and also because it looks like it will be really cool. After that is McClain Hall Chick Flick Night!

Sunday is church at HCC, then feeding homeless people at WOW hall, and then eating yummy thanksgiving dinner at HCC again!

So basically, I can't express how thankful I am for the people in InterVarsity who are so passionate and openly care about the world, and for the people at NCM, for how amazingly welcoming they've been to me, and for finding Harvest, which is a great church family. Gah! it just blows my mind. seriously.

Speaking of amazing people in general, my hall rocks as a family. A bunch of us are always in the lounge talking, or getting cultured, or killing brain cells watching youtube, or sleeping, or eating, or doing homework, or just generally giving hugs and sympathy. I love them all. I never want to leave to go to class or whatever, and I can't wait to get back home every night. In fact, I think that I will go down there tonight to work on my writing essay that's due at 8am and my RP2 that's due at 5pm.

Speaking also of amazing people whom I love, I do miss my friends and family from home a lot alot alot. I wish I could have been there for Heather's first PHS drama performance, and just her first year of high school in general. I also miss staying up late talking to my parents about everything, who I found out are actually very well educated and intelligent people (I really shouldn't have been surprised). I miss the teachers at PHS and everybody in the music department too, but UO has some pretty good substitutes for those parts of my life too. What UO doesn't have though, is my best friends.

What makes me really happy every time I think about it is Fred deciding to come here next fall, which will make both of us happy I think. She would really like it here, and its such a good school too! Plus there's me! I kind of wish we could live in the dorms, because I'm having such a good dorm life experience, but I know that whatever happens it'll be different next year anyway, and its cheaper to live off campus, and it will be cool to be independent. Major details to work out though, such as when to move in when I get back from Africa and what to do with all my stuff, which apartments we should live in, do we need a car, and so much more. But that's life pretty much, and I'm not worried.

Also talked to Marcy today, which was... interesting, and I'm very glad we got to talk. She's having a rough week, which makes my life look like sunshine and daisies. I miss her a lot, because me and Marcy can pretty much talk about any topic openly, and for a long time, especially really weird things. We will need to meet up somehow during this school year, and she will need to come visit me and Fred at our apartment next year for sure.

Well, I'm almost done with my post, because I really do need to do my homework, and I feel a lot better now. But one last piece of news that I think I've told everyone except my parents. I'm going to run the Eugene Marathon on May 4. I am really psyched but also very nervous for this event. I've never run before, and I'm really hoping and praying that nothing bad will happen to my joints that's going to last the rest of my life or something, because I don't want this that bad. However, as a result of starting this training program, I will probably not be doing dance next term, but I might pick up a stretching or pilates class.

More life updates to come, as I get more into this whole blogging experience. Hopefully some people will read this, because I can testify that it is a great way to keep up with what's going on in somebody's life. Let me know if you've been lurking on my blog (tell me on facebook or whatever) and I'll give you a personal shout-out.